– Ray Romano56. Anonymous28 Marriage is like pantyhose. – Fran Lebowitz17.

Helen Rowland65 I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. Ananya Bhatt | September 5, 2017 | Funny Quotes | No Comments. – Cindy Garner59. Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Henny Youngman92. – Rodney D121. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Deal with it. – Erma Bombeck8. – Ray Romano108. Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. Get married on his birthday. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Love and laughter go together like peanut butter and jelly. We hope these quotes make you laugh and bring you closer to each other now more than ever!1. Leopold FetchnerThis post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. – George Carlin147. Bettina Arndt53 True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights.

I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.70. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. I think I woke up screaming. – Ambrose Bierce152. Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. – Groucho Marx100. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. – Oscar Wilde142. I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. Women need a reason to have sex. – Socrates160. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. When you mix your words and actions with a little humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and special. Loss for words? 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jimmy Durante157. My wife is really sentimental. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.Really all quotes are very funny and nice, please add some more funny quotes of love.I think its a best funny love quotes. You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.68. Henny Youngman26 Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. Fran Lebowitz24 Honesty is the key to a relationship. I had a dream that i still loved you. Men just need a place. – Larry David111. Jun 18, 2020 - Words of Wisdom and Wit! My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. 100+ Best Funny Witty Quotes about Love, Life, Work and More. ... Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

– Henry Youngman155. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. Redmerski115.

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. Honesty is the key to a relationship. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. • Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Now I can use them to wish by boyfriend. Rowland58 Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, “Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.” Anonymous59 Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Billy Crystal112. Then he is finished. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. English Proverb5 Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. – Joan Rivers12. This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Phyllis Schlafly19. – Charles M. Schulz33. Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. Garry Shandling40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.

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